Oregon

Just an update... I hear Oregon will be leaving Tampa soon, and going ..... somewhere. I don't know where the next stop is.

If you sent me your address and you haven't received a response yet, let me know. (I think she got back to everybody... just checking.)

Password Hell

I couldn't blog for a few days because some evil entity ate a blogger cookie and I needed to enter my username & password, which I forthwith forgot. I guess I could have gone through the contortions of getting a new password sooner, but I was too lazy.

The whole ordeal of not remembering my password here caused me to take mental inventory of the passwords I must remember on a daily basis. There are just too freakin' many, and I'm not as young as I used to be! How is a person of my advanced age supposed to remember all this?

Let's see, there's;

ATM, Cellphone Voicemail, Work Voicemail, Windows Login, Work Email, Personal Email, Match.com, Blogger, Starnet, Intranet, Bank Login, RxU, Connections, Verizonwireless, Comcast, and a whole host of others which I can't remember at the moment.

Is it any wonder that on occasion I draw a blank?

What about you? Do you manage an entire database of usernames and passwords in your memory? Do you ever totally space one out and have to get a new one?

Friends.......

Sassywife's post got me to thinking about friends. More to the point, my lack thereof.

Currently, I have 2 friends whom I speak to regularly. 2. TWO.

I asked myself why that might be, and the answer is clear. Dickhead.

Over the course of our time together, I introduced him to all of my friends at one time or another, and he despised each and every one of them. All for different reasons, none of which made sense. Nonetheless, he made sure that I had nobody in my life who would distract my attention away from him.

One girl, JoAnn, had been my closest friend since grade school days. She & I were roommates back in my college days when neither of us had two dimes to rub together. We went through some really financially rough times together, but we always managed through, and we had a great time doing it. I sang at her father's funeral, she sang at my father's funeral. I stood up as maid of honor while she made the mistake of marrying her husband, and she did the same for me. Her daughter called me "aunt." I taught her to cook Portuguese style, and she taught me Norwegian cooking. I taught her to swear in Portuguese, she taught me to swear in Norwegian. Back in the day, the outgoing message on our home answering machine was; "You've reached the Pleasure Dome. Neither mistress is available at the moment, but tell us your fantasy... you'll feel better!"

Anyway, I haven't spoken to JoAnn in about 3 years. I suppose I could drop in on her, and she would be surprised, but hospitable... but I can't bring myself to do it. I should never have let him get between us like he did.

Now....... I am an island.

Morning Storm

It's 8:30am, and I was just sitting on my deck enjoying my first cup of coffee of the day. I was watching this particularly aggressive Bluejay terrorizing the littler birds in the tree, when suddenly I heard the distant rumble of thunder.

Oooh, I got excited! I love to watch a lightening storm.

Inside of a minute, the storm was overhead. The lightening became visible and the thunder got quite loud. Then the rain came... and I was fine, because my deck is covered. But, then the rain started falling horizontally, versus straight down, and I started to get soaked. :(

I had to come inside.

But I'm glad I am awake for the storm... I love them.

Lobster Anyone?

I had some free time early this afternoon, so I grabbed a chair, a book, and a towel, and headed 50 yards down my street to the beach.

It was FABULOUS there! So cool, with a beautiful coastal breeze blowing steady. Little children played in shallow water as their moms screamed for them to stay close.

I was only there an hour and a half. I read three quarters of my book. Then I felt my bladder begging to be emptied. Good thing too, because when I got home and saw how glaringly red I was, I was shocked. I used sunscreen. Whatup?!

So, right now I'm walking gingerly, swinging back & forth between boiling hot, and cold chills, and my clothes HURT!

Hosting Oregon

Ok ladies, I'm so glad you want to play Shanghai Oregon!

Just email me with your postal address, and email address. I'll forward the addresses on to the wickedly evil administrator and brainchild of this gag, and she'll get back to you!

Email me at: Sioux5910@aol.com

Let the trip continue!!!!

Time For A Cool Change......

Well, if you recognize the lyrics in this post title, you're about as old as I am. If you're as old as I am, then you can relate to what I'm on my way to do this morning.

I have a consultation appointment this morning with Lifestyle Lift

I'm pretty excited about it. I'm approaching this as merely exploratory, but I'm hoping that I leave there feeling confident with the doctor and the procedure.

I've told a few people about my plan, and inevitably they've all said, 'Sybil, you don't need it.' But for me, it isn't a question of need, it's a question of want. I want that youthful, rested appearance that we all have when we're 20-something. I don't have it now. When I lost a bunch of weight, my face changed; and I didn't like it. So, I'm going to see about getting my face back.

Wish me luck... I'll let you know how the consultation goes.

Lemme Tell Ya About Oregon

Ok, that's Oregon. I guess you can't see it, but it says Oregon on the front of that beat up hat. Thus, I named it Oregon only to discover that it's owner considers it female. Oh well!

Oregon belongs to my friend Stellina's friend Kef. Stellina came up with this gag to steal Kef's beloved hat, and send it around the US and Canada, having pictures of it taken all along the way. The pictures (which I am about to email to her) are going to be posted on Oregon's very own blog, which resides at myspace (www.myspace.com/kefshat)

So, I know Nexy's in Phoenix, Sassywife's in Chicago, Jos is in NYC I think... Writer is in New Mexico....

Who wants to host Oregon for a day, taking digital pictures of it, and emailing them to me to be forwarded along?

WDW And Oregon

Tropical Storm Alberto cleared out of the Orlando area on Tuesday afternoon. It's been sunny, oppressively hot, and humid here ever since.

During a meeting yesterday, I learned the concept of Positive Pessimism. To that end, I will say this about the weather here; It's hotter than Hell's blazes, but at least it's so humid I can't breathe.

Last night, I went to Disney's MGM themepark. Who would've thought that at 7pm, on a Wed night in early June, it would be so fucking crowded there that you just couldn't get from point A to point B?! It cost 70 bucks to get in, and I rode on two rides. To my way of figuring, that comes to $35.00 per ride. What a bargain!

I brought Oregon to SeaWorld Tuesday night, but he was already back in the envelope and on his way to his next destination by the time I left for MGM last night... so no pictures of Oregon at MGM.

Who's Oregon you ask? Well, if you go to www.myspace.com/kefshat you'll see.

I can't forward or post any of the pictures of Oregon until I get home, which won't be til Saturday; but I promise to as soon as I can.

Meanwhile, lunchtime is just about over, and I need to smoke 4 cigarettes before I go back into the afternoon meetings.

Ciao

There's A Dark Cloud Hanging Over My Head!

Back home in Massachusetts, the sun hasn't shined for what seems like 40 days and 40 nights. It was so depressing.

So Monday I jump on a plane and leave for Orlando, Florida. Ah... a week in sunny Florida is just what I needed (or so I thought.)

I guess if I'd bothered to watch the weather channel, I'd have known about the phenomenon called Tropical Storm Alberto which is hovering as I type this right over my friggin' head.

It's been typhoon-like conditions here since I got off the plane.

I can't fucking win!

Season Three Premiere

Not for the faint of heart, nor the meek of ears. The language is atrocious. But this show is the one of three that I watch. You already know what the other two are.

The Last Ten Years

Horrifyingly bad facelift aside, I picked up and rather enjoyed Kenny Rogers' new CD titled Water & Bridges.

Track #8 is called The Last Ten Years (Superman). The lyrics of this song really resonated with me, and the melody isn't too bad either. But it's the lyrics that got me.

Here they are for your viewing pleasure:

The Last Ten Years (Superman)
by Tommy Conners & D. Vincent Williams

Oh the last ten years, it's been quite a trip
Over thirty-six hundred spins without a cosmic slip.
But within the realm of our atmosphere
We're about as out of whack as we've ever been in a million years.

We watched the Y2K scare in a panic
We watched time prove Nostradamus wrong
We watched as Mother Nature shook the planet
And cellular replaced the telephone
We lost Charlie Brown, Ray Charles, and Johnny Cash,
We even lost Superman.

Well the last ten years, look at the hills we've climbed
The best golfer's black, the best rapper's white and it's about damn time.
But we'd best beware, there's a brand new fight you see
And I hate to say we might be our own worst enemy.

We watched Oklahoma sifting through the damage
And we watched a U.S. president get caught
We watched shareholders watch their savings vanish
We all cried when we watched those towers fall
We lost Minnie Pearl, Ron Reagan, and Sam I Am
We even lost Superman.

Expensive gas and free downloads, the dot com boom and reality shows
What's gonna happen next is anyone's guess
Satellite radio and hybrid cars, handheld computers and a trip to Mars
It's all become a part of who we are, in the last ten years.

In the last ten years we lost George Harrison, John Paul, and June Carter Cash
Hell, we even lost Superman.

So whoever the hell Tommy Conners & D. Vincent Williams are, I'd just like to say;
Great job boys!

I've Gotta Get Off The Porch!

The saying goes; "If you can't pee with the big dogs, get off the porch." Welllll, I gotta get off the porch.

Last night I was at home, settled in for a night of television, when my phone rang. Dickhead was on the other end, and he was intent on giving me a raging case of Red Ass. Rather than stay home and subject myself to yet another night of supreme aggravation, I decided to shut off my phones, and go out.

So I went to this place where I used to DJ, and hung out. It was nice. I knew just about everyone there, and I had a good time. The only thing is, people kept buying me beers. Not to be rude, I kept drinking them. Finally, somewhere around midnight, when I noticed that I was seeing everything in 3-D, I had to give the nix signal to the bartender (who is a hot little cutie named Frank, btw.) I had enough poker chips (that's what they use to call in a drink that's been paid for) in front of me to win a game of Texas Hold'em. By closing time, my 3-D vision had turned into Holy Fuck... How am I going to drive?!

Being that I donate to MADD every year, and being that my livelihood depends on my driver's license, through my beer soaked brain I decided to make a smart and mature decision. I let one of the guys drive me home.

....NO, THIS ISN'T GOING WHERE YOU THINK IT'S GOING.....

Anyway, I got home somewhere around 2:30 this morning, and collapsed on my couch. Promptly thereafter, the room tilted 90 degrees, and the couch slowly revved up to about 2000 rpm's. Promptly after that, I introduced myself to the Porcelain Princess and we got very close.

I don't remember making my way back to the couch, but I must have because that's where I woke up at 6 this morning, feeling like the entire Chinese army had marched through my mouth barefooted. Oh.... and the visegrips attached to my head at the temples? Not nice! Not to mention the crisis my bowels are suffering at this moment.

I have no idea how many Coor's Lights I had last night, but whatever the number, it was decidedly TOO MANY.

Therefore, I've come to the conclusion that I can no longer pee with the big dogs, and it's time to get off the porch.

Just call me Einstein. I'm THAT fucking brilliant!

Collect Them Each, Two By Two...

Welcome to New England. Currently, we are collecting all of God's beasts, two by two. One male, one female. Soon we will place them aboard the Ark, and there they will be safe until the rains are gone.

My Fetishes

I love books. Books of all kinds. Hard cover, soft cover, it doesn't matter. Sometimes I buy a book because the cover art catches my eye. Sometimes I buy one simply because the pages feel smooth. Sometimes I read them, and sometimes I don't. Books are a fetish of mine. I must own thousands.

Unlike many people I know, I don't ever part with my books. I can't bear to sell them, and the thought of throwing them out is sacreligous to me.

I have two steadfast rules. I don't loan my books, and I don't loan my music. I'll loan you, or give you anything else that I may have if you have a need or want, but I don't loan books or cd's. You just never get them back.

I also love pens. I know this is an odd fetish, but I collect them. I guess I must own several thousand pens. All types of pens. I am particularly fond of Mont Blanc, and Waterman pens; of which I have quite a few, but interestingly, I also collect pharmaceutical premium pens. Not the cheap plastic ones, but the nice metal ones. You'd be surprised how much the original Viagra (metal) pen sold for on Ebay. And yes, I have one of those.

If you were to ever be let loose in my home office (which probably would never happen) you'd most likely think I am nuts. One whole wall is floor to ceiling bookcase, completely full of hard covers. My desk drawers are overflowing with pens of every color, type, and style.

Sometimes I sit in there and just flip through the pages of a few books. The smell of the bound pages makes me feel good. Other times I sit at my desk and doodle on the blotter with pen after pen, culling out the ones that need ink refills.

Nuts huh?

And you thought this post was going to be dirty!

Disappointing

I don't know about you all, but I was expecting much more out of the season finale. Nobody died, nobody disappeared. Christopher is an asshole, Phil survived, and Tony... well, I don't know what to make of his visit to Phil. But on the upside, at least AJ found yet another method of making his mother crazy.

Big Love, on the other hand was fantastic!

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