Nothing, Really.

Mr. New is warming my cold, cold heart.

There's something inherently missing in my brain wiring. I have become so conditioned to being the giver in a relationship, that I don't quite know what to do with being on the receiving end. Mr. New is very much a giver... I just haven't gotten comfortable with it yet. But I have to say, it's nice.

In other news, I just got back from 2 days of hell. What hell you ask? Two days of driving throughout the horrible interstate systems of New Jersey. OY! Hey... I've driven in almost every state in the U.S., and I'm here to tell you - Driving in New Jersey S.U.C.K.S. !!! And that George Washington bridge! Paleeeze! I love the crusty attitudes of the people who live there, but I don't care if I never go back to that state again. I think I took years off my life.

Here it is Friday again (where did the week go?)

Next week there are a few notable days: On March 1st I am interviewing for a new job. (Same company, just different role) March 2nd MW turns 60 (Shithead) Also March 2nd I am taking Mr New to the hospital for his colonoscopy. March 3rd my nephew turns 19. So, I'll acknowledge one birthday, one colonoscopy, and one job interview. Big Week! LOL

Tilted Uterus ... Or TMI - You Decide

So my friend's, (we'll call her Jane) husband joined the Navy. We'll call him Frank. Frank is all of 5 feet tall, and not an inch taller.

Frank left for basic training the second week of December; two months after he married Jane.

Last weekend, Frank graduated from basic and Jane went to Illinois to spend 5 days with him.

Last night I saw Jane. Our conversation went like this:

Me: So, how was your visit with Frank?
J: OH. MY. GOD. !
Me: That good?
J: Wellll, when I got back I had to go to the emergency room.
Me: Why?
J: I ended up with a tilted uterus. It hurt soooo bad!
Me: A whaaa?
J: Sybil, I'm not kidding you. We did it so much and so hard, he moved my uterus out of place.
Me: Um... Er...
J: Well, God had to make him short somewhere, but it isn't THERE.
Me: Oh. Um... Er...
J: This is the second time this has happened. This time, they put a couple of stitches in to prevent it from moving again.
Me: Um... uh....
J: Yeah... every time we do it doggy style, I'm a hurting unit for like... EVER.
Me: So Jane, how's your mom?

Post Script: I will never look at Frank the same again. I swear.

Devilishly Handsome Lurker

I have a devilishly handsome lurker.

He promised me he wouldn't lurk, but lurk he does.

I'm quite sure he wasn't too happy when he inadvertantly spilled the beans that he's been reading my blog, but hey... just goes to prove, you're not as smart as you think you are heh? LOL

Cute though, isn't he?

Teeheehee... remind me to post some "Before" and "After" pictures. LOL
Remember the day the goose bit your finger? LOL

I Wonder....

What happened to Alicia?

Where are you woman?

Everybody Loves A Meme (once in a while)

Borrowed from Jos

1. What time did you get up this morning? 8:00am

2. Diamonds or pearls? Diamonds

3. What was the last film you saw at the cinema? Deja Vu - EXCELLENT!

4. What is your favorite TV show? Law & Order (the original) & South Park

5. What did you have for breakfast? Coffee

6. What is your middle name? I don't have one

7. What is your favorite cuisine? American or Portuguese

8. What foods do you dislike? Liver, brussells sprouts, rice, any cereal, most fish, raw shellfish, chicken, peanut butter and on, and on.

9. What is your favorite love song? Keeper Of The Stars

10. What is in your CD at the moment? Dwight Yoakam

11. What kind of car do you drive? '05 Mercury Sable, '06 BMW Z4

12. Favorite sandwich? Bologna & mayo with fresh native tomato mmmm

13. What characteristics do you despise? Cheapskates, liars, judgemental people, gossipers, lazy people, unnecessary stupidity, hypocrites, back biters

14. Favorite item of clothing? My cowboy boots

15. If you could go anywhere in the world on vacation, where would you go? Jeruselem

16. What color is your bathroom? Kinda teal (thanks... now I really have to change it)

17. Favorite brand of clothing? Ralph Lauren, Levi Straus, Gap

18. Where would you want to retire to? Arizona? San Diego? Not really sure

19 Favorite time of day? Night time

20. Where were you born? Massachusetts

21. Favorite sport to watch? Patriots Football

22. Who do you least expect to send this back?? N/A

23. Person you expect to send it back first? N/A

24. What laundry detergent do you use? Tide w/Fabreeze

25. Coke or Pepsi? Pepsi

26. Are you a morning person or night owl? Night Owl

27. What size shoe do you wear? 7.5

28. Do you have pets? No

29. Any new and exciting news you'd like to share with everyone? Read the blog ;)

31. Favorite Candy Bar ? Baby Ruth mmm (I want one right now)

32. What is your best childhood memory? Wow! I can't think of one single good one. How sad.

33. What color underwear are you wearing? Blue

34. Ever been to Africa ? No

35. Ever been toilet papering? Yep

36 Love someone so much it made you cry? Yes; and don't remind me.

37. Ever been in a car accident? Yes

38. Croutons or bacon bits? Bacon Bits

39. Favorite day of the week? Friday

40. Favorite restaurant? Venus DeMilo, Liberal Club

41. Favorite flower? um... not really a flower person

42. Favorite ice cream? Chocolate

43. Favorite fast food restaurant? KFC or D'Angelo's

44. What color is your bedroom carpet? Earthtone burba

45. How many times did you fail your driver's test? None

46. Before this one, from whom did you get your last email? Al

47. Which store would you choose to max out your credit card? Best Buy (I love gadgets!) This was Jos' answer, but I'm letting it stand. ME TOO!

48. What do you do most often when you are bored? Sleep, or read a book

49. Bedtime? 2 or 3 am

50. Who are you most curious about their responses to this questionnaire? All of my blogger buddies

51. Last person you went to dinner with? Al

52. What are you listening to right now? Nada ... dead silence in here

53. Lake , Ocean or river? Ocean

54. How many tattoos do you have? 12

55. Which came first, the chicken or the egg? The single cell micro-organism

56. How many people are you sending this Email to? None

Catching Up

I felt the need to post what's been going on around here.

I go to the doctor's on Monday to receive my biopsy results. Try as I might not to think about it, the issue keeps worming it's way to the forefront of my mind. What can I do though? I just have to wait. So, Monday at 1:30 I'll be fidgeting in the doctor's office waiting room, waiting to be called in to receive my fate.

A while ago I wrote about being torn between two men. One my own age, and one older. Sometimes nature has a way of taking care of these decisions, and doing the culling for you. I have gravitated toward the older of the two. And let me say this about that... I had forgotten what it feels like to be treated like a queen. I gotta admit, it's Some Kinda Wonderful. We've been spending alot of time together, and he's endearing himself to me more every day.

While I'm on that subject - isn't it always the case? Men! They toss you aside, treat you like crap, largely ignore and take you for granted; BUT OOOH! The minute someone else comes along and shows you what it's like to be treated well, they come grovelling back full of apologies and roses. Well, Reba McEntire said it best in her song; "Red roses just won't work now. You done too much to work things out..." But oh, isn't life cyclical!

I've let my subscription to the online dating site expire, and frankly, I have no desire to renew it. I can't say it was very helpful for me. People on those things largely lie, or at least stretch the truth to the point breaking. Pfft! I'm all set with that.

Funny though, yesterday I received two separate bouquets of one dozen long stemmed roses. One from Dipshit MW, and the other from Mr New. Needless to say, one bouquet is on my dining room table, the other is out in the trash.

Last night at the club, things were just so bizarre. Everyone there is all up in my business because they've never seen me even remotely near another man since MW split the scene; now Mr New is there and he's very obvious about his feelings. Well it's funny actually, how up into my business everyone suddenly wants to be.

I think tomorrow I will tell you the story of Ruby - the skank cow at the club - and how she came within inches of losing her face last night. But for now I have to finish getting ready to go have lunch with Mr New.

So long kiddies.

Somebody Tell Me Please...

What does it mean when someone says, "That was an HHJJ moment." ??

My nephew wrote it in his blog and used it in a positive light. In other words, he described something good that happened to him, and said it was an HHJJ moment.

Then the little shit said, "And if you don't know what HHJJ means, you're too fucking old."

Wellllllllllll, I am NOT too fucking old! I want to know what this means.

Somebody clue me in please (because I am apparently too fucking old!)

Surgery... Blah!

Yesterday was my big day. I was at the hospital at 6:30 am, like they told me to; proceeded to sit in the waiting room until 7. Waited on a gurney, practically nekkid, freezing my extremities off for another hour. The IV nurse finally showed up and proceeded to stick me 4 times before she could get a viable line going. She said I was dehydrated, therefore my veins collapsed. I was like... "well, nothing to drink since 10pm last night, of course I'm dehydrated!"

So anyway, they gave me nothing remotely close to a tranquilizer while I waited. I would have really appreciated a little help getting to Zen at that point, but nope. Nuttin'

Then finally, they wheeled me into the O.R. I wide awake, and alert. As I looked around, I was amazed at how utterly chaotic that room seemed. It also seemed old, cluttered, and not at all sterile... I'm just sayin'.

They positioned the operating table, told me to skootch over onto it, which I did- told me to position my head comfortably into the hole in the table, which I did- and the next thing I knew, I was awake in recovery.

Man! Nobody even told me "Ok, we're putting you to sleep now."

As for the rest of the day; my biggest complaint was the awful burning when I urinated, from the catheter I presume.

So now here I am, procedure behind me, waiting for biopsy results - which will not be until 2/12. OY!