Blue Lantern

Thanks to my friend Stellina who directed me via cell phone to this little bar called The Blue Lantern.

With (to quote Jimmy Buffet) a little navigational guidance, I found said bar and immediately found myself right at home.

It's a little hole in the wall neighborhood bar, the patrons of which all contribute to Harley Davidson Wear's bottom line. Lucky for me, I fit right in with my HD Tee shirt and baseball hat!

So Stellina, thanks for the navigational guidance. I will be going back there again... next time on my big fat HOG.

So Maybe It's Me... ?

I'm ready to admit that it might be me... ok?

I've met 8 men for coffee or lunch in the past month. Not one of them is blowing my skirt up. Not one.

Even this last one is begining to rub me the wrong way. He's nice and all, but every time I talk to him, all he talks about is his work. At first it was a nice change of pace, but Jeebus... that's ALL he talks about. Tonight on the phone, I couldn't help myself, I just had to cut him short. I was bored to tears with it.

Ok, so it must be me.

Maybe I'm just not over the dickhead, and not ready to be dating. I'm willing to consider that. So what does one do? Acclimate to being the 3rd wheel everywhere I go? Get accustomed to eating out alone? What's next, eating cat food on a TV tray, while watching old reruns of Lawrence Welk?

When I really take inventory of the scars he left behind, the damage is much worse than I realized.

What's worse is, he still hasn't disappeared altogether. He keeps resurfacing just as I stop thinking about him.

Let's all concentrate really hard, and hope for Karma in the highest order.

Mr Italian (from below)

Oh, I almost forgot to tell you about the Italian who wrote the intriguing email.

First of all, understand that I am not easily bowled over by a man's looks. However, this man was COMPLETELY, TOTALLY, DROP DEAD GORGEOUS. Enough to make you stop and have to catch your breath. I mean, he is physically absolutely beautiful to look at.

Now... what's he like?

One word.

Can you say........ DICK!

The man is a dick. Pure and simple.

I didn't think it was possible, but I finally met someone more arrogant than me. (I'm half joking there) His problem, in my opinion, was.... he's so in love with himself, he has no room for anyone else. I mean to the point that he'd admire his reflection in the spoon. And I kid you not!

So after an hour plus of a one sided conversation that went on & on like this: I, me, I, me, I, me. Me, me, me, I, I, I, I. I thanked him for the coffee and left.

I should have known anyone that beautiful was apt to be too involved with himself.

Comments

Ok... I think the mysterious comment eater has been rectified. Things should be as they were. Sorry for the inconvenience (I was feeling very unloved there for a while!)

So you guys think I'm harsh with my dating comments?

I figure this way. This is the first time that I have actively seeked out someone to date. In the past, it's always been just fate - kismet - destiny... call it what you want. So since I'm the proactive one here, why shouldn't I be precise about what I'm looking for?

Maybe I came across mean about the stutterer, but really... if a person can't form a cohesive sentence under stress, I know me. I'm going to lose patience with that really REALLY quickly. And as for Rob, sorry but I didn't need to be hearing about blood tests after meeting him only once, for coffee. I found that altogether too presumptuous on his part. After all, I never told him I wanted to fuck him. I never told myself I wanted to fuck him.

The good news is, I did meet someone who I've been out with several times now. I like him. He's about 180 degrees different than the type I'm usually attracted to. He's not what you'd call a really big man. He's a computer geek for a living.
I.T. network engineer. He's got a really beautiful house, and too many cars. No motorcycle though. So far we've had lunch a few times, and the other night we went out for a few drinks. So far so good. This one has no kids, no baggage. I think that's the attraction for him to me too, which is fine. In case you're wondering, his name is David.

Today on my way home from a really long drive, I got it in my head that I wanted satellite radio. So I stopped at Circuit City and bought one. It goes from the house, to the car, to my belt clip. I decided to subscribe to XMRadio rather than Sirrius. I don't know why exactly, except XM seemed to have stations of the genre I'm most interested in. So the thing has been going most of the night, except during the half hour I watch American Idol.

So long Pickler. And it's about frappin' time!

So anyway..... comment away. It should be fixed now.

I'm So WEIRD!

Today at the grocery store, I saw this enormous woman pushing a cart around with all kinds of stuff in it. Among other things there was a 24 pack of Charmin bathroom tissue.

I thought to myself... "Eeew, she's got a big fat coochie full of toilet paper lint."

Hey, I can't help it, but I know that paper sucks for that reason, so I won't use it. For some strange reason, that thought popped into my head.

I know, I know... I need therapy.

Intriguing

I received the most intriguing email this morning. I post it here for your thoughts and comments. I'm curious what you make of it:

I must say, your profile is very entertaining to say the least, one of the best I have read so far and I have read a lot of them (a shit-load). I am very impressed and very interested. Corporate/professional to Harley? Wow, how refreshing! An infectious smile? I would love to see it. Actually, I am told the same, dress up for work too, but can't wait to change into shorts or Levi's myself, I am successful too, at least so they say, insane within "reason" every once in a while, very easy going, love to laugh, life is indeed too short to attempt to reorganize the universe or live in the past, the past must been good at one time or another, in the summer I would enjoy very much to ride in the back of your Harley, unless you would let me drive it, don't worry, I know how. Yes, mutual attraction is indispensable and honesty would be a very nice and much appreciated additional attraction for a change. So.I was wondering if you would be interested in having a cup of coffee with me sometime.... Of course, I will send you pictures of me and I would love to see a picture of you. I don't know why you don't have a picture posted, I don't have pictures posted because I hold a public/political position (I know it sounds stuffy) and a lot of people know who I am. I didn't want my pictures and profile to end up on the bulletin board at City Hall. Yes, I must deal with politicians because of my job, it's not so bad, it's like being dragged naked through a sticky substance.

For whatever it may be worth, probably not much since attraction is personal and there is a lot more than just looks in the equation, I've always been told to be good looking, sexy, cute, etc.etc.... and very smart as well. I am educated, street and elsewhere, and I have traveled quite a bit and in saying that I don't mean just Newport. I have a BS and MS in Civil Engineering from Cornell University. I am divorced and I have a 16-year old daughter. I was born and grew up in Italy, came to the USA at 19 to check things out down here, I am still doing it... much more to say... so...what about that cup od coffee....?

Look very much forward to hearing from you, meanwhile have a great day

Salvatore

Side Note: I L.O.V.E. Italian men. They REALLY know how to make a woman feel like a woman.

On Dating...

So I meet this new guy from the online dating service. He seems to meet my meager criteria for a meeting. We decide to meet for lunch.

I see him pull in to the parking lot (because I am there 30 minutes early so I can watch him pull into the parking lot.) He stands outside his car scoping out the parking lot, trying to spot me. We play the "Who's going to walk in first" game. Finally, I get annoyed, and walk in. He comes walking in very close behind me... in fact, just about meets me at the door.

He says... "My GOD! Throw that picture you sent me away. It looks nothing like you. Nothing, nothing, nothing like you!"

I'm thinking, "is this a compliment, or an insult?"

We get a table, sit down, and he proceeds to sssstttuttttttter, and ssssstammer, and generally has a very difficult time getting a coherent sentence out.

I ask him if he's ok. He says he's extremely nervous, but he'll be ok in a minute.

We make awkward small talk, and I am relieved when the waitress comes over with the menus. Now I can lower my head and focus on food.

All too soon, the waitress is back to take our orders, and so I must relinquish my menu and talk again. He's still having trouble with this, by the way.

The food comes, and I begin to eat. I ordered a very nice chicken caesar salad, and he orders a burger. He takes the top half of the bun off, and commences to eating the meat with his fork... Ok. Whatever.

We make more small talk. I'm bored to tears. So bored that I uncharacteristically wolf my food down, just to get it over with.

We finish the meal (finally), he pays the bill, and we're heading out the door. Once outside, he reaches for me to give me a hug. I become rigid, and as he's trying to give me a kiss, I turn my face. His lips land on my cheek.

We wave goodbye, and get in our respective vehicles.

I pull a holeshot leaving the parking lot, and he's nowhere to be seen in my rearview mirror.

That night, I received this from him in email:

From: ajm
Date Received: April 12
Subject: Advertising


Sybil,

Please add the following to your profile:

Stunning, articulate, engaging, talented, intelligent, self-confident ... if I get to spend more time with you I'm sure there will be more.

It was such a pleasure to meet you. I hope I provided truth in advertising to you, and I'd love the opportunity to have that second date when you feel better.

Al

OK... can we say... Potential Stalker???

Lessons learned... From now on, all first dates will be for coffee ONLY. It takes considerably less time to drink a cup of coffee than it does eat a meal. Second, when going on a blind date, inform a buddy. Set up a signal. Be sure your buddy can hit you up on signal, and rescue you from death by boredom. Third, if they lose their power of speech upon meeting you, they're probably not ever going to regain it.

American Idol:

I'm hoping Taylor stays. I want him to go all the way and win. Regardless, he'll end up doing good things, but I am rooting for him.

Dating:

I met new guy today for lunch. He (as usual) didn't look anything at all like his picture. I was disappointed. I don't think there'll be a second date. However, I am meeting someone else this evening for a cup of coffee. We'll see.

Life In General:

I'm being sued. LOL! This is funny because, I'm being sued by someone who has been blackmailing me for 2 years. I can't wait. I've filed a countersuit. It's going to be interesting.

Rob Update

I decided it ain't gonna work.

He works until 8 or 9pm every night. Then he has to go home and eat with his son. On the weekends he's carting his 18 year old son around (who doesn't drive, by the way) getting haircuts, and shopping, etc., etc.

I'm not down with that. I have no kids. I have no pets. I have nothing tethering me to a routine or schedule, and I don't want to take on someone who does.

If that sounds selfish, so be it. But why should I adapt my lifestyle for the sake of getting involved in a new relationship?

Furthermore, he said something that hit me wrong. He said that if and when things with us got very serious, he wanted me to get a blood test to check for STD's. Well... who the fuck is he to tell me that? I should be the one telling HIM that. And I would have, eventually. But therein lies the difference between tact, and no tact. I would have waited. The bottom line is, I am right on top of that, and I don't need him or anybody else demanding it from me.

Nah..... I'm all set with this one.

The Boys Of Summer Are Home

I love them. Win or lose... I just love these guys. And I love this park. I hope they never ever change it. Big Green Monster and all!

HELLO? IS THIS THING ON?

Then why is nobody commenting??

Sopranos and Big Love

First of all, how glad was I that that little worm Vito got caught at a leather bar by a couple of soldiers? And didn't he look absolutely ridiculous? If you ask me, he's on the right track to a solution. He might as well shoot himself because he'll never live down the ridicule from the others. I really can't stand that fat little twerp.

It was good to see Tony back to his old self. Although, I felt kinda bad for the kid he tuned up. But, it was necessary. The crew was treating him like he was an invalid. I just love how the writers keep him the perfect anti-hero. To go into the bathroom to puke after he beat up the driver... you just know he hates who and what he is, but he knows he's got to kill or be killed. I also love how he and Carmella have gotten close again. (I would totally do him. LOL)

Have you seen HBO's new series Big Love? It follows the Sopranos. I've been watching it from the pilot episode. It has me completely hooked. I guess it's morbid curiosity... like the roadside accident phenomenon. I have to watch, regardless how mortified I am at this polygamy situation. I mean, I just want to grab all 3 wives heads and smash them together until they see the light.

Good news to Deadwood fans. The new season premiers June 11th. I can't wait!

Oh Mandy, You Came & You Gave Without Taking...

I hate to say it, but I knew Mandisa would not get to the top 3. Regardless that she's certainly one of the most vocally talented in the whole bunch, I just knew she wouldn't last. Of course, the song she picked didn't help either. I never liked that song even when Shania sang it.

And how about Katie Couric leaving the Today show? I say, SEEYA! I find her so thoroughly obnoxiously perky, I'm glad to see her go. I don't watch the evening news anyway, so Goodbye LittleMissPerky.

Rob Again, and Lady Luck Shined On Me

I like this guy Rob. He's not what I'm typically attracted to, which might be the attraction. Typically, I like them taller, a little beefier, a little older. He's 39. But, he's older mentally and emotionally.

I like that he's a hard worker, with a long term plan. He works long hours, and gets home late. I like that about him. He's strictly blue collar, and I like that too.

He likes that I ride a motorcycle, lol. He likes my hair. Says it's wild and sexy. (If he only knew what I go through with this hair.)

I like him, BUT.....

I still can't get Dickhead off my brain. In my warped mind, even talking with Rob is cheating. Isn't that totally fucked up? I know, I know!

In other news, today I went to the casino. I put $20.00 into a machine, and 5 minutes later took $150.00 out of it. So, I left.

Later on (several hours later) I decided to go back and test my luck. I went to the same machine and put $20.00 in it. That 20 yielded $175.00. I cashed that out. Then I put another $20.00 into it, and that yielded $300.00. I cashed that out. Then I put another $20.00 into and that yielded $50.00. That machine gave me $675.00 in exchange for my $80.00. Not bad. Too bad all my trips there aren't as prosperous.

Rob

Well, I met Rob today. We met for coffee, and spent 2 hours chatting away. I liked him. He's down to earth, easy to talk to... with the minor exception of having an annoying habit of interrupting me when I was speaking.

He had just just gotten his hair cut, and I have to say, it was a little too short for my taste, but then again, it's only hair. Hair grows back.

I liked him. He liked me. He wrote me an email and told me so. This might be something good.

Stupid Is As Stupid Does

What are the 2 or 3 questions that, under NO circumstance, EVER, should you ask a woman?

1. How old are you?
2. How much do you weigh? .... and....
3. Do you color your hair?

I think we can all agree, these questions are just plain rude. If you need to know how old a woman is, then she's not the right age for you. If you need to know the exact number she weighs, then obviously her weight isn't your idea of perfect. And for Christ's sake, WHY would you care if she colors her hair?

What's wrong with some men? Last night some idiot walked up to me, felt my hair, and asked me, "Do you bleach your hair?" I was like... "What?! None of your business dude!" He says, "I wanna get to know you better." I said, "How's never? Is never good for you?"

Pissant!

Men! I'm tellin' you, the more of them I meet, the more I'm convinced they're all mutants.