Ouch... Ouch... Ouch !!!

I decided that I can't diet off the 10lbs I gained post surgery, so I figured I'd better start working out.

With every good intention, I buy what seems to be a good workout dvd. It entices me by promising that all I have to do is stay with it for a mere 6 weeks, and I will attain the results I desire. Who could resist such a promise? Certainly not I.

So, ever so niavely, I place the devil disc in the player, and hit play. The beginner workout is a measely 30 minutes long, no problem!

And the music begins, and the skinny bitch starts her peppy ... and one and two, and breeeeath. So, off I go. Gangbusters. Pffft! This is no sweat.

Ten minutes into it, I'm thinking, "I hate you ... you skinny bitch" at the poor woman on the screen.

Fifteen minutes into it I'm thinking, "Shit... what did she just do? I can't do that shit! My ass doesn't move that way!"

Twenty minutes into it I'm thinking, "I'm going to die. This is going to kill me. The headline will say, '48 yr old idiot woman exercises to death'

Twenty five minutes into it I'm thinking, "Please let me die."

At 30 minutes, as the skinny bitch is congratulating me for finishing the workout, I collapse on my couch; panting, sweaty, and painfully aware that I have never been so out of shape in my life. But, I felt a strong sense of accomplishment.

This was yesterday.

Today, I'm walking like a 90yr old stroke victim. Every muscle in my body is screaming, and I don't want to go to bed because it means I'll have to wake up tomorrow and do it again!